Wednesday, June 2

H2Oh-My God I Have to Pee

No big surprise, part of the In8 program is drinking plenty of water. I’m supposed to down seventy ounces a day, which is a little over a half-gallon. Like the rest of this healthy lifestyle stuff, I know what I’m supposed to do, but my execution stinks.

Seventy ounces is a lot for me, since I’m sure I’m part camel. I can exist for days without water. I live just fine on coffee, milk and wine. I guess that’s why Dr. Lowry said my cells looked like raisins. To plump up said raisins requires water, lots of it. 

Changing my water intake habit has been a challenge. I've found that filling up a half-gallon jug with water every morning and drinking from it all day allows me to quickly measure my progress. And when it’s empty, I know I’ve done my job. I tried simply remembering how many glasses I drink a day, but I struggle with recalling the day of the week, so that kind of higher-order reasoning is beyond me. I need instructions a caveman could follow. Something like, “Water jug full. You drink. Water jug empty. Good. Ugh.”

Aside from the health benefits that I’m sure I’m reaping with this water consumption, I also now know where all the restrooms are located in my favorite stores. This knowledge would have been really useful a few years ago when my kids were potty training. I don’t know how many times I ran frantically through a store in search of the toilet, carrying a screaming preschooler that was about to urinate on me. And why is it that they always have to go to the bathroom when you’re at the farthest point from it?

If I was smarter back then, I would have scouted out the bathroom situation ahead of time, so I’d be prepared. But like I said, that kind of thinking is beyond me. If only Target had the following sign on their front door, it would have saved me from so many toilet emergencies.

“Go find potty. Else kid pee on floor. Ugh.”

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